Of Feminity, Indian Nationality and the right hormonal balance

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There is not much about being female that has not been already written about by, with or without the consent of the feminine. However, at the moment as I am at a suspended stage of absolute bemusement, I shall toss into this ocean a piece of my own.

First up is the Sania Mirza controversy. For my readers who are not familiar with the context. Telengana is a new State formed in India. Sania Mirza hails from Hyderabad, India which is now part of this new State. She is a sportsperson and married Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik in 2010. (Just to get a hang of how acceptably Indian she has been let me also mention that she was conferred the Padma Shri - one of the top civilian awards conferred by the Government of India.  Now this new State of Telengana wanted her to be their ambassador. And then…all hell broke loose because (hold your breath!) she was married to the Pakistani gentleman.

So, evidently if this hue and cry is anything to go by, the Indian Nationality is screwed if you are a woman and you get married, presumably because we are one big happy family and ofcourse like any good old patriarchal society the woman when married off loses her surname, identity and is culturally required to assume (possibly through a process of spiritual osmosis) the history, culture, identity of her husbands’ family, tribe and in this case …WOW! An entire freaking nation!! Green Card marriages make so much more sense now, yes? Not just a job. Hey! You are now officially of a different race altogether.

(Yeah, Baby! I want to be Spanish. Like, right now!)

An earnest commentator tried explaining at the face of much angst and ludicrous expression that No, it was because it was you know…”Pakistan”…you know. Nudge! Darn! Now why did I not think about that?

Maybe women in India should be handed a pamphlet the moment they hit puberty in which countries which the government does not like and the Ministry of External Affairs deem a threat are listed as “Not eligible to marry into”. That way, rebellious chicks like us can also get a headstart and not get side tracked by the desi goth-punk bad boys and aim higher. Lets’ be the ultimate deviants. Not the small time crooks! Give us countries to choose from, not just the wrong side of town!

Second is Dutee Chand being disqualified after failing an errr…wait for it, wait for it… gender test. Like, we have made such awesome progress in the understanding of gender that now we subject our high performing female athletes to the gender test.

Oh you run well? Oh you are winning, creating speed records. Wait! You must have man genes! Because only men can run that way! And how can you return to your career? By reducing the levels of hormones…like ofcourse the way you are naturally developing just wont do. You need to be bio-chemically engineered to be a woman fitting into a definition that suits us.

(Please read an article on this at http://www.bustle.com/articles/33066-indian-sprinter-dutee-chand-disqualified-after-failing-a-so-called-gender-test)

So, my dear feminine, not only are we questioning your identity and nationality when you marry, but also your being by virtue of your biology. Bring out the pamphlet and the home test kits, we are waiting already! 


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